Where have the gentle men gone? Not just gentlemen... but gentle men. In so outright shaming acts of gentility and chivalry have we not only lost our gentlemen but the gentle men? We have scoffed when gentlemen open doors, remain standing until ladies are seated, order on a lady's behalf, or otherwise change their decorum to reflect deference for a woman's sensibilities.
Aye, therein does lie the rub?! We refuse to recognize that men are created to be dominate creatures, providers, protectors, defenders, warriors, conquerors and all of the characteristically male behaviors which naturally follow and support this design. We refuse to recognize that women are created to be nurturing creatures, cultivating an environment of love, learning, growth, nourishment, renewal, tenderness and safe harbor for our mates and our children. We cast off these designs as mere labels and limitations.
In our pursuit to be modern, to be politically correct, to be equal, we have sent a clear message that gentlemen need not apply. And so one by one, they disappeared... these men among men, so strong in character and secure in themselves that they come bearing true gentleness. Being gentle is not an indication of weakness. On the contrary, in a gentle man one finds abundant strength. But in our world of independence and equality we sacrificed perfect design. We lost the moments of jackets draped across our shoulders, having our hair brushed slow and smooth, having coarse, boisterous speech softened to bright, attentive eyes, having arms opened to tenderly receive. We lost our gentle men.
We sent them away. We have lost the men who look at a woman and see a princess. We have lost the men who see her vulnerability as a gift, a priceless treasure worthy of all sacrifice... fueling their desire to conquer all. Rather we have conditioned men to view vulnerability as weakness, burden, need, and guilt. They cast it aside and flee. In this vicious cycle, we have lost the woman who submits to the leadership of her soul's mate, who longs to create and offer up that place of nurture to her family, who is joyfully devoted to her God, her husband, her children... in that order. When design is dismissed, chaos ensues.
Tonight, I looked up the word "gentility" in the Merriam-Webster dictionary and was shocked to find the following as one definition. "Attitudes or activity marked by false delicacy, prudery, or affectation." Truly, we believe that gentility makes a man a fake... a prude... a snob? Seriously?! So let's come full circle with this. Let's look at the meaning of gentry. "The condition or rank of a gentleman." So, we cast the dispersion upon our men that to be a gentleman makes one a prude?! Well, no wonder they're in short supply! In laughing at the coat sacrificially laid with honor across our path, we choose instead to step in the mire and keep walking as if there is nothing to see. Yet all the while we know we just muddied something beautiful.
If you refuse to receive your prince... to revere a man as king of his domain... you forfeit the dream of being his princess, his beloved queen. You forfeit his honor, his protection, his passionate desire to sweep you off your feet. You throw it away. You throw away perfect love... perfect design for but a mirage of worldly acceptance.
I long to raise gentle men. I vow to raise gentle men. Men who know true strength of character and honor... men who are prepared to be king of their domain that their one-day wives might know what it is to be the princess, the queen of her heart's home. May I raise men who look upon God's precious masterpiece of a woman's heart and see the world cupped within it... his treasure...not his burden... but perfect design.
I am richly blessed with a daddy who is a gentle man of God... and to have learned through both my earthly father and my heavenly Father what it can mean to be a princess.
From my heart,
"Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called woman,
for she was taken out of man."
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Genesis 2:22-24 KJV